I’ve seen various reports that estimate that the incidence of significant anxiety affects somewhere between 4% and 12% of all children. Whatever the exact number, it affects a lot of children and the consequences are severe. Children affected by an anxiety disorder tend to perform poorly in school, miss important social experiences and are at greater risk for substance abuse. Not only that, if untreated they are more likely to have trouble in adulthood.

Of course, the biggest concern for the parent of a child struggling with an anxiety disorder is that they are missing out on a happy childhood. Childhood should be predominately joyful, a time when a child can grow and develop in a safe and happy environment. Any difficulties should be short lived and a chance for the child to develop new skills, perhaps with the help of his parents, and then more on.

There are several variations of anxiety problems that can afflict children. Generalized anxiety disorder is a vague, non-specific sense of anxiety without a clear-cut cause, out of proportion to the situation and persistent over a long period of time. Panic attacks are recurring shorter, more defined episodes of intense anxiety. Anxiety disorders are also sometimes associated with depression or obsessive-compulsive problems.

Social situations frequently trigger anxiety in some children with an anxiety disorder. Obviously, this can adversely affect a child’s normal development.

Whatever the variant, the affect on a child’s emotional and even physical well being can be immense. Children are not in a position to know whether their anxiety is warranted or not. They’re still trying to figure the world out. They depend on the adults in their life to help them.  Because of this, it’s important that parents and other grown-ups responsible for young children and teenagers develop the skills they need to help their kids deal with anxiety.

The Anxiety Free Child Program does just that.

Check out my review or click here to learn more about the program directly. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be able to help your child.

Anxiety Free Child Program

Anxieties that many children experience are actually more widespread than many people realize. Anxiety disorders in children are frequently dismissed as a phase. In many cases, it is quite easy to mistake the condition with other symptoms, and more often than not, it is overlooked as being just defiant or weird. Determining whether the child really suffers from anxiety disorders requires careful observation.

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Almost every child will react to a particular circumstance in quite a parallel behavior. Even though they experience anxiety towards the whole situation, the anxiety can be lessened quite easily through bargaining, demanding, or even just talking to the kid. Also, the anxiety is not so severe that it prevents the child from doing things kids normally like to do.

In contrast, when a child is suffering from an anxiety disorder, talking to him or her will do nothing. The child will just totally shut down and will even refuse to acknowledge any other individual’s presence. If you see this type of behavior and detect a pattern, even in situations that normally do not trigger any anxieties, perhaps visiting a specialist might be a great idea as the child might have an anxiety disorder.

Among all childhood anxieties, perhaps the most common is separation anxiety. Every child experiences it at some point; whether the parent leaves the child with the grandparents for the weekend, at preschool, kindergarten or anywhere else. As painful as it is for a parent to witness, this is actually a normal reaction from a child, which usually fades away over time, when the child becomes more comfortable in the new surroundings. However, a child experiencing childhood anxiety disorder may continue to be anxious even when you pick him up. If you start to notice the child shutting down each time you drop him or her off somewhere, it is most likely that he or she suffers from an anxiety disorder.

Is often very difficult for parents to be objective in evaluating their own child or knowing what’s a normal degree of anxiety in a given situation. That’s when seeking the advice of a reliable friend or relative, teachers, pediatricians and others that have extensive experience with multiple children can be of help. Because these people have seen so many children they are in a better position to recognize when normal anxiety has crossed over into being a childhood anxiety disorder.

Anxiety Free Child

Anxiety in Children

Childhood Anxiety Disorder

Child Anxiety Treatment

Anxiety Free Child Review

Genetic Background and Anxiety

One study suggests that anxiety can be transmitted by parents to a child. So if a child’s parents are suffering from this kind of disorder, there is a possibility for the child to have anxiety as well. Children with anxiety can be treated more easily if the parents are the ones who will help their child.  But it will not be possible if the parents who are supposed to help their child are also suffering from anxiety. That is why most of the genetic cases of anxiety among children frequently require outside advice and help.

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You should also be aware that just because something is common in families doesn’t mean that it’s “in the genes” and nothing can be done about it. Children naturally tend to model and learn from their parents. If the parents never had an opportunity to develop successful coping skills it’s not surprising that the child won’t either. That’s where appropriate coaching can help the entire family.

Bullies and Anxiety in the Classroom

Children are supposed to be happy at school, because learning should be fun and school gives them a chance to socialize and meet new friends. But unfortunately, not all children can enjoy being at school because there are some other kids bullying them. Bullying can be one of the causes of anxiety in the classroom. Most of the targets are the children who don’t have many friends so that there would be no one to help them. As a result, children who are being bullied will be afraid to go to school.

While bullies have their own psychological problems, I’m most concerned about the effect on the child that the victim of bullying. A child is often very reluctant to talk about this issue so the parent needs to be aware of the possibility and pursue actively if they notice at change in their child’s attitude toward school or their anxiety level.

The Teacher Effect

At school, teachers are rule their students and children are supposed to obey the teacher no matter what he/she will tell them to do. Meeting a teacher for the first time in a child’s entire life can make a big difference to their opinion about teachers.

If a child meets a teacher who is extremely kind, he will assume that all of the teachers that he will meet later on are as kind as the first one he met. But if he meets a cruel teacher who rules the classroom as a tyrant, someone of the “spare the rod, spoil the child” mindset, it can cause fear and anxiety for the child.

That’s why teachers should make sure that they would make a good first impression in order to make all their students feel comfortable with them for the entire school year. If they don’t, children will just find it scary to interact with ALL teachers even if only few of them are cruel.

Perfectionism and Anxiety

Some children create anxiety for themselves by having unrealistic expectations about being perfect at everything. Some parents make it even worse. I’ve seen one parent look at a child’s grade of 95 and instead of praising and supporting them for this excellent performance, asked them “where are the other 5 points”. While this is probably intended to encourage excellence its effect was probably the opposite. At the least, it was likely to make the child more anxious.

While it’s good to have high standards, there should also be an understanding that no one is perfect all the time. Mastering any knowledge base or skill requires effort and often repetition. If a child’s performance is less than they desire, they should understand that it’s nothing to be anxious about. It just means that they need to do something differently. Perhaps they simply need to study more, or get clarification about what they’re unsure of from their teacher.

Not having friends in the first day of school can also be one of the causes of anxiety in the classroom among children. Kids will enjoy school much better if there are some others kids for them to interact with. But if a child fails to make friends as early as he can, it’ll be hard for him to make one later on. If the child is moving to a new school, it’s very helpful if they can meet some of the kids before the first day of class. Very often schools will have programs to facilitate that so you definitely should ask.

Anxiety Free Child

While it can be very painful for a parent to witness, some anxiety is a perfectly normal response in teens. It can even be helpful. It serves to increase productivity, warn the body of potential danger and something that they need to pay attention to.

Some degree of anxiety is universal. Everyone experiences it. Teen anxiety be caused by various sources, including school, home or even extracurricular activities and day-to-day interactions with peers. Dealing with their awakening sexuality is another common source of anxiety for teens.

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As I mentioned, some degree of anxiety can be helpful. However, anxiety in teens can also be counterproductive. If too much anxiety occurs, it can affect the teen mentally, physically and emotionally. Excessive anxiety can create a fearful person who has difficulty developing fully. Because of this , it is important to know the signs and symptoms of anxiety, methods of alleviation and when to seek help for the more severe forms of anxiety.

Signs and Symptoms of Excessive Teen Anxiety

The signs and symptoms that the teen is experiencing an abnormal and unhealthy level of anxiety can differ but there are a few common findings. Lack of energy, loss of interest in activities that they previously enjoyed, irrational fears and the inability to sleep has been associated with high levels anxiety. In addition to this, the teenager may also suffer from alterations in eating patterns and suffer from frequent physical symptoms such as nausea or headache.

Full blown panic attacks can also occur within this age group just as they can in adults. A panic attack may manifest as shortness of breath, a racing pulse and the sensation that the room is spinning or closing in. The teen may report feeling as though they are going to “black out”.

Determining the Cause

One of the fundamentals in dealing with teen anxiety is determining the cause. In mild to moderate cases, the issue causing distress may be something that the teen may need help with. This may include but is not limited to troubles at school or home for example. In some cases, it may be difficult or even impossible to determine a reason for the anxiety, especially if it is severe. When the cause cannot be determined or when the fears are exaggerated, professional help should be sought. Otherwise, there are methods that the teen can use to help alleviate and decrease the anxiety experienced.

Methods to Decrease Anxiety

There are more than a few ways to decrease anxious feelings without medication or professional interventions. These methods can include but are not limited to meditation, exercise and taking the time to talk it out.

Verbalizing the problem to a friend, parent or another trusted individual that will not judge or dismiss feelings can be very helpful in these types of situations. As much as a parent may want to help, sometimes another relative such as an aunt or uncle or older cousin would be more effective. Remember, part of what needs to happen during the teenage years is a healthy separation from their parents. Because of that in the parents tendency to see the teen as “their baby” another adult may be a better mentor.

Simply talking with such a person may be able to help the teen gain clarity of the situation. If the anxious feelings are being caused by a stressful situation, the teen can try to find ways to diffuse the situation or change the environment. In the end we hope they will learn coping skills.

Seeking Professional Help for Your Teen

There are times when there is simply not a substitute for seeking professional help. Consulting with a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist may be beneficial to those experiencing moderate to severe anxiety. In some cases, the feelings may be associated with depression or another psychological disorder.

Some practitioners will prescribe medication, but ideally this will be only a short-term, interim measure. Other therapies such as cognitive restructuring are actually more effective and will give the teen coping skills that will serve them well throughout their life.

Warning signs that the anxiety is too much can include desperation, extreme fear or specially suicidal ideation just to name a few. In these situations professional help is definitely warranted.

While anxiety in teens can be perfectly normal, it can also be a sign of something more serious and should not simply be ignored. Fortunately, the vast majority of young people are able to successfully deal with their anxiety, especially if they have help from supportive, caring adults. To get the skills you need to help you teen, I suggest you take a look at the review of the Anxiety Free Child Program or click on the links below for more information.

Anxiety Free Child Program

A better approach is to let your child know that some degree of anxiety is normal anytime we try something new, get into a different situation will push up against the edges of our comfort zone. We can learn to channel this anxiety into excitement and a drive for preparation.

Knowing how to coach a child with anxiety is part of raising a child with a good self-confidence. One way to do that is instead of blindly praising them, encourage your child to do the things that they feel anxious about. However, don’t set them up for failure. Make certain that the task is within their capabilities with just a bit of a stretch. To help them grow. This often means going gradually, step-by-step.

Then, when the child does succeed at one step you can justifiably praise them, both for what they’ve accomplished but also for their bravery in facing their anxiety and acting despite it. In that way, over time they realize that feeling anxious doesn’t mean that something terrible is going to happen or that the world is going to end. Rather, it means they need to prepare to be at their best.

Always take note of the satisfaction that he will feel at completing a task by trying to let him evaluate his own fulfillment in his accomplishment. An example of such is through saying “I believe you will really feel good once you get your homework done.” In this way, the child will remember the feeling he will get after accomplishing the task and prefer it than feeling anxious.

Another way to coach a child with anxiety is through highlighting how important is his accomplishment in the family. Taking the example above about the homework, you could tell your child that you would really appreciate it if he will finish his homework earlier because you want to spend time with him. Through this, he will realize that he is important and that his actions have impact in the family. Always remember that once your child realizes that he has positively contributed to something, he will always feel valued.

You can also try to help your child recognize his strengths and how to handle his weaknesses. Acknowledge what he is good at and encourage him to nurture those strengths. When it comes to his weaknesses, instead of blaming your child, encourage him to do better at it. For example, if your child is hesitant in making friends, you can tell him this “I know you are having a hard time making friends but I can see that you are really trying. Being at school is really making a big difference in you”.

However, don’t focus excessively on the child’s weaknesses. We’re all different and we all have different skill sets. Some people will force themselves to try to get better at something they’re not very good at when they would be better off getting even better at what comes easily to them.

I think it’s always best to love your child just as they are. Unconditional love goes a long way toward preparing your child for the world. Never give up on your child and never get tired of encouraging him to try again. And when your child fails, never discourage him. Help him find strategies to cope with the failure instead.

Just to be certain we’re talking about the same thing, for our purposes here we consider separation anxiety to be anxiety caused by the separation, or even the idea of separation, from someone to whom the child is very attached, most often the parents. This is quite normal for toddlers and preschoolers.

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Here are some things to look out for to help you decide if your child’s separation anxiety is in the normal range or not.

Separation anxiety is different than generalized anxiety problems because the child usually isn’t anxious in other situations. Separation anxiety becomes a disorder when the child has anxiety that persists  well beyond the typical age and/or it is so severe that it interferes with social functioning.

Here are other characteristics of separation anxiety that’s become a problem:
•    an unrealistic fear that the parent will leave and never come back
•    an unrealistic, preoccupying worry that some untoward event, such as the child being lost, kidnapped, admitted to hospital, or killed, will separate him or her from a major attachment figure
•    refusal to go to bed without the parent
•    nightmares about separation or about loss of a parent
•    avoiding school because of fear about separation (as opposed to avoidance caused by things like tests, bullying, etc.)
•    persistent inappropriate fear of being alone
•    repeated physical symptoms (stomachache, headache, vomiting, etc.) caused by separation without an evident physical
•    excessive reaction to separation (tantrums, withdrawal, etc.) to separation, or even in anticipation of separation

As you can see, many children will have some of these symptoms from time to time. The key is the frequency, severity and whether or not the anxiety is interfering with normal development and functioning.
If you’re concerned about your child it can be a good idea to talk the situation over with someone who has a lot of experience with kids and has seen the normal range of response in a large number of children. Pediatricians, nurses or nurse practitioners, and teachers are good resources available to most parents. Also, trusted family members can help.

You can get some other suggestions at How to Help a Child with Anxiety.

In some ways, you can compare the appropriate response to your child’s fears and anxiety to the way you respond to their injuries. While we all wish our children would never get hurt, we know that some bumps and bruises and scrapes are inevitable as our young ones take on the adventure of life.  What parent would want their child to miss the fun of skating, or biking or whatever because there’s a chance they’re scrape their knee? We  give them the best instruction we can, don’t let them do more than they’re ready for, get them protective gear when appropriate and then let them go.

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Most of the time they have a great time and no problems at all. Occasionally they’ll come running in with tears in their eyes and a scrapped knee. You sooth them, clean off the scrape, put a bandage on, give them a hug and turn them loose.

God forbid, but sometimes kids have bigger injuries. I hope nothing ever happens to your kids, but sometimes parents need to take their child to an ER for stitches or a cast.

With injuries, we all know that the appropriate response is different in every situation. It varies with the severity of the injury. In the same way, how to react to a child’s anxiety varies with the situation.

In general, it’s a good idea if you can stay calm and composed and don’t let your child’s fear get you in a twitter. If you become anxious it will only make your child’s anxiety worse.

Then assess the situation and see what response seems appropriate. Sometimes simple reassurance will be enough. At other times you may need to help your child in other ways.

For example, if your child is nervous about going to the dentist, you might do something like talking with your dentist and their staff and taking them to office a few times before their actual appointments.  My dentist has some great toys in the waiting. If your dentist has the same, your child could play there for a while and maybe be able to “go for a ride” in an exam chair before they have their actual appointment.

Obviously, this is just an example. My point is that you’ll have to use your best judgment and gauge your reaction accordingly.

The more difficult thing is when your child seems to have frequent, severe anxiety that is limiting their ability to do normal activities.  In that situation, you should probably get a “second opinion.” Talk the situation over with your pediatrician to see if they think your child’s reaction is outside the norm.

It’s my bias, but I would be slow to try medications. I respect physicians and nurse practitioners tremendously, but it does seem many of them are quick to prescribe psychotropic drugs even for kids. I much prefer trying something like cognitive behavioral therapy. This works very well and is a useful skill for anyone, child or adult, to master. The issue is that therapists skilled as teaching it are uncommon and not readily available.

One helpful program that everyone has access to is the Anxiety Free Child program. Click here to read a review of it. This program is extremely effective and I think any parent whose child has a problem with excessive fear and anxiety should at least check it out. Especially since it comes with a 100% money back guarantee.

Imagine your child happy and eager to enjoy life.  The Anxiety Free Child Program has helped any number of children to regain their natural joy and do just that.

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Why is Childhood Anxiety Increasing?

The honest answer is that we don’t know. It’s not hard to imagine that the increasing rate of change, uncertain social structures and the media bombardment that we all face contribute to the problem. But that’s hard to prove.

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It does appear that children of parents who themselves battle anxiety problems are more likely to develop anxiety disorders. Some of this may be genetic, but it may also be largely environmental. For example, anxious parents may model anxious behavior that their children imitate. Or the parents may never have had the chance to develop coping skills to defuse anxiety and so are unable to teach them to their children.

A child’s basic temperament may also predispose them to developing an anxiety problem. As every parent knows, every child has a distinct personality from the moment they are born. Some researches suspect that children who are extremely shy or extremely reserved in new situations may at a somewhat increased risk for anxiety disorders.

Also, girls are somewhat more at risk for an anxiety disorder than boys.

In any case, anxiety in children is not a failure of parenting.

Anxiety in Children and Other  Problems

It is common for children with anxiety to have other mental health issues as well. Perhaps the most common associated problem is depression. Obsessive-compulsive disorder can co-exist with anxiety disorders as well.

What Should a Parent Concerned About Their Child’s Anxiety Do?

The first step is to determine if there is a problem or not. One of the main indicators is if the anxiety is persistent and interferes with normal activities.
Sometimes it’s hard for a parent to judge if the anxiety is normal or not because they are so close the child.  In this case it’s a good idea to check in with the child’s health care provider.  They have a good idea of the difference between normal childhood anxiety and a serious disorder. They can advise you accordingly.

If a problem is recognized, children usually respond well to appropriate treatment. Depending on the child’s health provider’s experience and expertise, it be a good idea to get an evaluation from someone specializing in emotional problems in children. The difficulty is that such professionals are in short supply and not always available.

As always, the parent remains their child’s strongest advocate. They also have the strongest influence on their child’s development. For these reasons it can be a good idea for parent to learn everything they can on how to alleviate anxiety in children so they can actively participate in helping their child.

The Anxiety Free Child Program is an excellent resource for parents to learn how to help their children eliminate their anxiety and give them the skills they need to cope with all the challenges of modern life. Check out our review or click here to learn more about the program directly.

Anxiety Free Child Program

We live in a complex and rapidly changing world. There have always been problems in the world and there has always been change, but most problems were local, and change was relatively slow.  In the past, a person doing a job would pretty much do it the way their parents and grandparents did it before them and their children would continue to do it in pretty much the same way.

Now, whole industries can bloom, mature and disappear in a decade or two. Just consider VCRs and CDs. They were disruptive technologies just a short time ago and now are obsolete because of DVDs, streaming video and MP3s.

We’re often better off because of  change, but it still represents stress. Even positive change requires evaluation and adaptation.

And not all change is good. The fellow working at the factory that made LP records lost his job when CDs came along and there wasn’t much of a market for vinyl record making skills.

This is the world our children are going up in. They have to adapt to rapid change and great uncertainty all the time. It shouldn’t surprise us that this might possibly cause some anxiety.

At the same time that change creates stress, children are more and more aware of all the problems in the world. Children used to be relatively sheltered, perhaps hearing adults talking about the problems of the day but not being much interested in it themselves.

Now they’re absolutely inundated with all of forms of media that makes them all too well aware of the many problems we face, from the environment, two wars, to the economy, to terrorism to natural disasters,… You get the idea.

At the same time as children are facing more anxiety provoking situations, we as parents aren’t really providing them with any additional skills. It really isn’t our fault – we were never really taught them ourselves.

However, there’s no longer any justification for not finding out how we can help our kids. The necessary methods and techniques are available. We just need to learn them.

The most comprehensive program I’ve found is the Anxiety Free Child. Click here to read my review.

Or click here or on the links below to find out just what’s included in this remarkable program.

I think we owe it to our children to become a skillful as we can in guiding them through the challenges presented by today’s world.

Anxiety Free Child

Some people, and even some pediatricians, overlook or minimize anxiety issues in children. To be sure, kids safely have brief, situational episodes of anxiety that are normal and part of childhood. For example, some anxiety at separation from a parent is to be expected in a young child.

However, more and more is becoming clear that many psychological problems that show up in adults had their beginnings, often unrecognized, during childhood. This is extremely unfortunate because children respond well to treatment. Adults whose anxiety problems began in their youth would’ve avoided a lot of misery growing up and in their early adulthood if the problem had been acknowledged and treated when they were young.

I want to discuss childhood anxiety disorders to give some idea of the different types of problems that exist. I’ll begin with some definitions.

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, concerned, fear and distress. Anxiety is felt both as physical sensations (nausea, upset stomach, rapid pulse,…) As well as emotional symptoms of fear and worry.

We all have episodes of anxiety on occasion, so part of the difficulty is distinguishing a normal level of anxiety from excessive, destructive anxiety.

A major factor to consider is to what extent the anxiety is interfering with the child’s normal functioning in life. Also, you need to consider the child’s age and developmental level. What is normal separation anxiety for a two-year-old may be something to worry about in a six year old.

Childhood Anxiety Disorders

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Generalized anxiety disorder is excessive worry and anxiety occurring on most days for a period of at least six months and involving a number of different activities. The child with generalized anxiety disorder has difficulty controlling their anxiety. They often feel restless and agitated. They may fatigue easily, yet have difficulty sleeping or restless sleep.

Acute Stress Disorder

In this problem, a child has experienced or witnessed an extremely stressful event. Thereafter the child continually re-experiences the dramatic event either as memories or dreams or by believing that the event is happening again or experiencing extreme anxiety in situations that even remotely resemble the traumatic event.

This disorder leads to avoiding any situations of thought associate with the traumatic event. Also the child will feel detached and typically will have a markedly diminished interest in activities that they use to enjoy. Again, sleep disorders and difficulty concentrating are common.

Social Phobia

Social phobias a persistent and debilitating fear of being engaged in social situations, especially with unfamiliar people or people the child feels may be critical.

I think some degree of social anxiety is extremely common and probably normal for just about all of us (or maybe that’s just me). The distinguishing factor is to what extent the anxiety prevents normal social interaction and development.

Phobias

A phobia is a significant, persistent, excessive and unreasonable fear that is triggered by a specific event or object. Common triggers include animals, medical procedures, elevators, flying, bridges, insects and so on.

Again, the question is one of degree of anxiety and the degree to which it interferes with normal function. An example is our otherwise calm son who has a middle schooler had an absolutely uncontrolled needle phobia. Hypnosis and the desensitization helped him get over.

Panic Attacks

Panic attacks are sudden episodes of intense fear completely out of proportion to the situation at hand. They usually have a rapid onset and Ricci peak of symptoms within 10 minutes and usually begin to subside over half an hour or so (although they can last longer). Symptoms can include a pounding heart, trembling, shortness of breath, chest pain, sensation of choking, sweating, nausea or abdominal pain, lightheadedness, and numbness and tingling.

The person having the panic attack often fears they are going to die or completely lose control of themselves and the situation.

Other pages on this site provide more details about the symptoms, diagnosis and appropriate treatment of a childhood anxiety disorders. If if you think someone close to you may be suffering from anxiety disorders be sure to check out the Anxiety Free Child Review.